The day thus far...

Yet another whiny post about pregnancy. This will probably be the model for the next three weeks :(

• Woke up at 3am and couldn't settle back to sleep, got up and surfed for two hours


• Tossed and turned in bed for an hour until I passed out at 6am


• Dragged myself out of bed at 7:30 so John could finish getting ready for work


• Finally got dressed enough to venture outdoors at 11am. Walked to corner deli to get a few things


• Got home from deli and realized that the ONE BLOCK I walked had completely wiped me out and unless I am being driven somewhere this is probably the farthest I can expect to go for the next few weeks


• Succeed in not crying about my physical limitations, make something for Michael and I to eat for lunch


• Think about sitting on our front steps while I let Michael run up and down our street so I can get some sun but the realize that the front of the house is already in the shade - must do this before 11am


• Give in and sit in the recliner while we watch Babe and get some much-needed knitting done. At least the swelling in my hands goes down so I can knit comfortably


• Come upstairs for some computer time and to bitch to the internet about my piddly problems. Hands and feet start to swell again reminding me that I really need to sit with things elevated


• Stop complaining and head back downstairs to the dreaded recliner and my water bottle

Hormones and Motherhood - Ho!

last night we watched an episode of Avatar: The Last Airbender called "Tales of Ba Sing Se" which is a series of vignettes focusing on various characters in the show. One of the stories focused on Iroh, and shows him in his normal milieu of a slightly silly old man with subtle hints of his hidden depths. The ending is just beautiful, showing him lighting incense and setting up a picture which turns out to be of his son who died years earlier in the war. You hear him sing a song he sung earlier to stop a child's crying, this time with his own tears of sorrow and remorse. This was one of the last episodes Mako, the voice of Iroh, recorded before he died which makes it especially poignant. The story is exceptionally well done and true to form, I sobbed all the way through it and am in fact fighting to hold back tears just thinking about it.

Just now I escaped upstairs to avoid the sobbing that would accompany a scene in The Incredibles when Holly Hunter's character's plane goes down with the children on board. I remember also tearing up over this scene when John and I saw it in the theater, as well as actually sobbing when Jason Lee's character attempts to kidnap the baby at the very end. It was a similar situation when we went to see Revenge of the Sith - when Palpatine directs Anakin to the Jedi temple, I knew exactly what it meant and I remember just burying my face in John's chest and crying I was so upset.

Before I got pregnant with Michael, there were very few things that touched me like that, and only then if I happened to see it when it was just before my period was due to start. Now that I almost have two children, it's a pretty safe bet that I'll be affected by these types of scenes, animated or otherwise, since it's almost impossible to turn off motherhood even for an few hours at the movies.

Not the most coherent of posts, but it's not been the most coherent of days. At least the contractions have stopped which is the other reason I came upstairs.

On a happier note...

H stopped by with baby HJ yesterday and a big box of hand-me-down goodness for the Bean. I was so great to be able to finally meet her and HJ was just too precious for words. We had a lovely visit and I am so touched that she made the trip down to see me and deliver the clothes and diapers.

Thank you so much!

Note to self

As much as it sucks (and it does, whoa does it ever, "like a Banshee" as we would say when I was in high school), my body is definitely trying to tell me something. That something is that I need to spend my time sitting around with my feet up or else get a ride to wherever it is that I want to go. Nasty contractions at home are one thing, they are a completely different creature when you are walking through the middle of town with your three year-old in tow.

Man, this sucks balls.

Just an apology since the blog has definitely taken a "I hate being pregnant" turn in recent weeks. I promise my rants will once again branch out and cover other subjects after next month.

It's scary...

Seeing it all written down, and this is just the knitting "to-do" list...

Done:
2 pairs of socks
Orange Malabrigo longies
Red curly-toed booties
Silk/Cashmere nursing pads

In progress
Orange/Teal EZ Feb Sweater (just needs buttons)
Spring EZ Feb Sweater (needs a sleeve, ends woven & buttons)
Koigue BSJ (needs cuffs, ends woven, collar & buttons)
Gnomey (needs ear flaps)

Still to do:
Longies in cascade 220 rusty brown (to go with EZ Feb sweaters)
Bunting in hand-dyed Peace Fleece
at least 3-4 pairs of socks
2-3 soakers (although I have enough covers to do me through the newborn period so this isn't vital)
another Gnomey hat in Malabrigo to match BSJ for coming home outfit
2-3 more pairs of nursing pads

Of course, I'm still finishing up my swap partner's knitting (I'll be washing and blocking tonight), I have at least 5 Christmas presents left to do and a whole bunch of korknisse that have to be done for Tuesday, I have the knitting half-done on a present for another mama's babe to be (which has been radically scaled back), and I have a pair of socks and felted slippers on the needles for myself not to mention the simple knitted bodice I started back in November.

Knitting is being put on hold for the next few hours though as I am going to attempt a trek into town with Michael. Wish me luck and let's pray my pubic bone can handle it because damnit, I'm tired of laying around with my feet up.

Damn you, biologic need to sleep!

I am buried in knitting and I have to get my butt in gear and get ready for the Bean. So much to do, but I have to go a sleep for a bit since I'm only sleeping for 90 minute stretches at night so I'm living in that oh so wonderful sleep-deprivation haze right now. I'm almost finished my DDC swap partner's sweater and then I have to knock out a pair of socks which will be a piece of cake since the gauge is only 6st/inch as opposed to my normal 8. I still have a few Christmas presents left to work on but most of the recipients know the state of affairs and for those who don't the presents are super simple and I'll have them done in time for Tuesday so they can wend their merry way down to Maryland. Then I can start finishing up stuff for the Bean who will be here in a mere 3.5 weeks!

Allright people, I have to get to bed before Michael decides to wake up. C'mon, Bean - mama needs the heartburn to stop so you need to flip and get your head away from my stomach.

Just a quick check-in

We had a very nice, quiet Christmas yesterday. Michael made out like a bandit (as you would expect the only grandchild on my side to do), but it was all the stuff we asked for and I couldn't be happier. He's been having a ball playing with his architectural blocks, the M&D pizza set and his M&D sandwich set. John seems to really like his gifts and I'm very happy with mine. Yarn, people - the husband bought me 3 skeins of sock yarn in very yummy colors (2 of them are the new Noro Kureyon Sock) and my mom bought me 2 40" addi turbo circular needles (2.5mm and 3.25mm) also perfect for making socks.

Michael was an absolute dream yesterday. After he opened his stocking presents we could hear him saying, "Thank you Santa. 'Bye Santa Claus." He thanked everyone who gave him a present yesterday at my parent's house (and this was with no prompting on our parts). He actually sat at the table and ate dinner with us - granted it was just some risotto, but it was a huge improvement from Thanksgiving.

We are just taking it easy today - I'm carrying a lot of fluid so I'm trying like heck to drink as much as humanly possible and stay off my feet. At my last OB appt my B/P was a bit higher than it's been so I got the pre-e/toxemia speech which led directly to the "getting the baby out early" speech. Personally, not that those conditions aren't something to be worried about, I am more inclined to attribute the rise in my diastolic (systolic was only slightly elevated) to the fact I was stressed and overheated. Tomorrow I have an appt with my OB's partner and I have to bring Michael with me without a stroller since I can't manage both on the bus at this point, so I'm definitely already at a disadvantage in terms of stress so anything I can do today to help matters would be great.

I've been sitting here for too long so it's back to elevated feet and fluids for me. I'll post some pics later.

Isn't it amazing

That a good eight hours-worth of knitting can be frogged in a few minutes. The cabled wine bag I was making has, alas, been frogged - there was no way I was going to have enough yarn for it. I have no idea what I'm going to make in it's place. I may just go with a plain one - stripes actually, so I can use up all of my odds and ends of wool. I really want to crawl into a hole and wait for Christmas to be over.

Wish I had the camera moment...

We made quite a sight - my heavily pregnant self, John, and Michael pulling the wagon with our Christmas tree in it most of the way home from the lot. It was so cute how he insisted on doing it and then wanted to stop and "rest" several times. We skirted a meltdown a few times because he really wanted to pull it across the streets as well and then we had the meltdown when we realized that John had to pull it down our street since the sidewalk was a little too narrow for him to negotiate.

I have to say I'm really looking forward to doing this with both of them next year. I'm starting to actually enjoy the season but John and I both seem to be looking ahead for a lot of things. We wouldn't trade Michael and our experiences with him for the world (well maybe a few of his more annoying habits - have to be total honest), but when we are thinking of the Bean it's like we know our family will be complete. "The boys" just seems to roll off our tongues so easily. Life with two still scares the pants off me at times, but for the most part knowing that we'll be a complete family is so comforting and drives those fears away.

Off to finish knitting...

I just feel sick

My favorite place to hang out, the place where I meet my girlfriends, the place I take Michael and myself out for a treat, the place I go to get some alone time has been the scene of a stabbing, at 6pm in the evening no less. I cringe whenever I hear about violent crime happening close to home, but this is too close. Hell, John could have been there picking something up for me. If things had gone the way we were planning last night the whole family could have been there in line.

While not nearly as bad, I feel some of those twinges of violation that I felt when our house was broken into last year. Is nowhere safe anymore. How long is it going to be before a gun is drawn? While we live in the city and some of this is to be expected, how much could we hope to escape in the 'burbs besides the fact that we would have to change our entire lifestyle in order to live there. I'm not going to let fear stop me from going there, but it's going to be a while before I can truly be comfortable there again, especially with the Bean and Michael in tow.

"Mom, I like you"

This is Michael's new thing to say now. I agree with John that for some reason it seems so much more genuine than "I love you".

Slogging through

Man this pregnancy has been tough. Aside from all the normal pregnancy tiredness and rampaging hormones, the SPD is really wearing me down. I was so happy to be getting chiropractic care this time 'round, and it would be working except for the fact that the Bean is still stubbornly breech. My chiro has been doing a lot of refreshing on the treatment of pregnant women so I'm hoping my next adjustment can get the Bean to turn, if not I'm going for the moxibustion - that's what credit cards are for right?

It's just so disheartening to not be able to walk, and I'm not talking about that having to stop every once and a while and stretch your back kind of thing, but a constant burning pain in your pubic bone every time you move your legs independently. I've found it's contributing so much to my general feelings of malaise - no amount of meds or supplements are going to be a substitute to a brisk walk on a cold day, and I'm missing out on a lot of my favorite weather right now. Of course once the Bean is on the outside the SPD will go away, but then I'll have to deal with the whole recovering from major abdominal surgery thing. I'm hoping the weather at least is cooperative and the chiro care I've been getting will prevent or severely lessen the nerve pain I had postpartum with Michael.

I'm still in a "fake it 'til you make it" mode with Christmas. We are supposed to get our tree tomorrow and I'm wondering if I'll be able to do the seven block walk up there or not since stopping at Starbucks on the way back won't be an option. I did start on my mom's present this morning - a felted, cabled wine bag. It was a lot of fun designing the cables for the bag (any excuse to play with graph paper). I think John is just going to see what his present is and if Michael's socks get made before Christmas they do, if not they'll get finished sometime this coming week. Lastly the sweater for my swap package is coming along nicely, I only have one more sleeve to finish and a few inches left on the body. I'll probably pick that up to work on it later this evening so I can block it on Sunday.

Off to resume knitting...

Prodromal Labor Sucks

I had it for hours tonight. Finally went in to be checked out and of course everything stops the moment I get there. Still closed up tight. Off to bed.

Just some complaining

• The Bean is still in his favorite position which means that it's *really* hard to walk.


• Michael insisted on napping with me in our bed this afternoon. This normally would be a great thing since it so rarely happens. It's not that great when he keeps up a steady stream of chatter the entire ninety minutes you are laying there before you snap, "Downstairs. Now."


• Christmas and swap knitting - these things do not go well with being 8 months pregnant

At least today is the last day of prednisone. We'll probably continue the albuterol for another day or two, but I'm hoping that once the prednisone is out of his system he'll be able to calm down and not be the already active kid hopped up on speed.

Last but not least - I love my hand-knit socks. They are truly the most comfortable things I own. I'm seriously considering dropping all of my other knitting projects and telling people, "Sorry, I was going to knit something for you but I chose to make myself a pair of socks instead. Merry Christmas!"

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Finished the first ball of yarn for my swap project and thus am half-done. I am thinking of winding my skein of Colinette Jitterbug tonight and printing out Cookie A's Monkey sock pattern to take with me to the OB's in the morning because damn it I need to start another pair of socks for myself. I even have a free size 2.5mm addi available to cast-on with - fate is telling me something here. I only have the sleeves left to do on my swap project and the ear flaps again for the swap project, so nothing that can't be knocked out in the late afternoon/early evening tomorrow and then blocked and let to dry on Friday then in the mail for Saturday. Of course Friday is going to be spent knitting slippers - I have 2 and a half pairs to finish so I can felt them on Saturday and they can be dry for Christmas. Michael still needs mittens and socks and there are a few little projects I have to get done as well - like my mom, I have no idea what I'm doing for her, probably something felted too.

I'm getting babbly, it's 11pm and I told the husband I would only be going up stairs for a few minutes 40 minutes ago, so I must dash. 'Night all!

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Isn't it too yummy for words?

Go to bed Jenn

And stop reading medical studies late at night. Registering for PubMed was not the smartest move - at least not when you are 8 months pregnant and looking for things to weave into that hair shirt you seem so desperate to wear.

Michael and I are going to take the bus to Trader Joe's in the morning and get several kinds of very yummy cheese to turn into potatoes au gratin for dinner tomorrow night. Then we'll try to make cookies. I guess it's a good thing I didn't gain any weight the first two-thirds of my pregnancy.

Two for Two

We just got home from CHOP ER for Michael. His breathing was getting worse as the day progressed and by the time it was time to do something the ped's office had closed. Frankly, it was for the best. They heard something in his lungs so we had to do a chest X-ray to r/o pneumonia (thankfully negative). They've given him a tentative diagnosis of asthma which really isn't a surprise to me. Every time he's gotten sick over the past several months it's gone straight to his chest and I've found myself doing respiration counts on him as a matter of course when his breathing has gotten bad. I even went so far as to bring up asthma with John on the phone this afternoon, describing the kind I thought Michael might have.

Rather than go the nebulizer route for treatment, they gave us an inhaler and a spacer. I cannot even begin to describe how well this worked. All I have to do is give him two puffs which he takes happily - as opposed to the crying and screaming that would accompany the 15-20 minute breathing treatment (I think - but given past experiences it is almost a definite). Even if I had called earlier in the day and gotten him into the office, there was a good chance we'd have still ended up at the hospital for the X-ray and I'm almost positive they would have just given me the scrip for albuterol for his nebulizer rather than the inhaler, so I'm tired but pleased.

He was absolutely wonderful in the ER. We were in the exam room for almost four hours and he pretty happily stayed on the bed and put up with his vitals being taken and the repeated requests for him to breath so they could hear his lung sounds. I am sure some of this is because it's a pediatric hospital. It's a definite pain for us to get there, but in the end it is completely worth it to be at a place where the staff only works with kids.

Now that he's settled and this is written, I'm off to bed as well. Let's just pray that I can avoid the whole "comes in threes" thing because I have no desire to sit in the ER tomorrow for John, something I've had to do twice during this season in the past and once before while this pregnant so no accidents tomorrow!

Talismans

Last night I was having some contractions. They'd be regular for 30 minutes or so and then taper off for a bit only to start back up after I had settled in a new position. Every time I woke in the night I'd have a couple before I was able to drift back off to sleep. When I woke at 6 to a hefty one and the Bean trying to do what felt like break-dancing in my uterus, it was time to call. John got up with me and I called the doc who of course said to head on in.

I made a few phone calls and then started collecting stuff. Superstitious person that I am, I knew that I had to have at least a half-dozen knitting projects with me and my Game Boy - if I'm prepared for an extended stay then it won't happen. I also knew I had to have a big breakfast and I had to stop at Starbucks for my normal iced Americano since they would likely keep me NPO at the hospital. Nothing quite like drinking an iced coffee while you are trying to breath through a contraction and the baby is going crazy inside.

All of my preparations worked. Things are still sealed up *very* tight and everyone commented on how well the Bean was doing (tons of movement). I only had a few contractions while I was there and they barely registered. My feeling is that this is primarily prodromal - my body is trying to nudge the Bean into a better position. I never felt any Braxton Hicks with Michael, but he was vertex almost the whole time while the Bean still likes to hang out butt-first. My gem of a husband took the rest of the day off so I can just relax and not worry about anything. I'm going to head off now to spend some time with them and get some nice down-time.

Nose to the grindstone

As of Monday morning, the Bean will be here in a mere six weeks! Of course, I have three months-worth of stuff to do and Christmas to boot. Wish me luck, I'm goin' in.

Just popping in...

I keep promising long update posts, but most of my computer time has been spent reading rather than writing, so the blog just falls by the wayside.

Michael has been working on a nasty chest cold. Thankfully, he is getting better so I'm no longer worried about pneumonia, but he's still fighting a fever so that's kept us cooped up quite a bit. Now I just have to wait for me to catch it.

I had an U/S and OB appointment on Wednesday. They figure the Bean is measuring about two weeks ahead and guestimate his weight to be about 5lbs 12oz. This will put him about 9lbs for when the section is scheduled - we'll have to see how close he actually is. They were spot-on with Michael, so my gut is saying the Bean will be on the big side as well. He's still spending a lot of time breech, but he's also spending more time vertex as well. I'm flirting with finding out how to do Moxibustion from my Chiro's wife to see if I can get him to stay vertex. I'm going to give it another week or so and see what happens.

I've been a bit of a hermit this week. Most of it has been the weather. I love the cold, it's the wind that kills me and keeps me in doors. Between that in the beginning of the week and Michael's chest cold the latter-half, I've definitely been a home-body. I'm hoping to get together with my girlfriends and their kids next week so we can take in some of the Christmas stuff in town. So if either of you read this, be ready for a phone call on Monday.

In knitting news, I'm trying to knock out two teddy bears to go to an AIDS orphanage in Botswana as my charitable knitting this season. I've got two legs done, so six more limbs and two bodies to go. Christmas knitting will begin in earnest tomorrow. I don't have many presents to worry about this year, but I want to get cracking on things so I'm not going crazy the week before since I know I don't have the energy to do it.

Just some pics...

I'll update with details later today - the first two are just too cute not to share immediately...

Korknisse

St. Nicholas Day Felt Clog

Green Scaly Socks

Burning the midnight oil

I just finished felting the clog I made for Michael for St. Nicholas Day and man is it ever cute. I'm also making him a pair of socks to go in it (he has been asking about them since I told him this particular yarn was for socks for him). The one I did up back in October was a bit too snug and the gauge was too tight for the yarn. I went up a needle size and it seems to be doing the trick. Rather than doing my normal short-row heel, I've decided on an afterthought heel - since this is a self striping yarn, I figure it will look nicer and it'll give me a bit more room to accommodate his high instep (wonder where he gets that from?). I'm about an inch into the cuff ribbing, but it's feeling a bit too tight for my taste so I'm probably going to frog back and re-do it on smaller needles. If I have any of the yarn left overs, I'm going to make him a korknisser to go in there as well.

Lots of pics coming soon - I'll probably do a whole update later this week with all the FO's.

Off to bed!

I suppose it's worth it...

...but I'm still cringing a bit that I am spending $17 to have $40 of groceries delivered to the house. Granted, I am 32 weeks pregnant, the high temp today is maybe going to be 40 degrees with 20-40mph wind gusts, and in the best of weather the shopping trip would take me close to 2 hours with a 1 mile walk each way. When you look at it that way, it doesn't seem too bad, but it's still annoying. I haven't been shopping at this particular store for a while now since it is such a pain for me to drag my pregnant self down there, and considering their prices are better than the closer store(and the reasons listed above) it does work out in the end.

Enough complaining - blueberry pancakes are waiting to be made.

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It worked out pretty well - they gave me a $5 off coupon and the groceries got here early enough that I can make us grilled cheese sandwiches for lunch. It's not something I'm going to do every week, but a good order once a month or so is completely worth it.

On a completely different note, I am currently wearing my Green Scaly Socks! Off to eat lunch and finish off the Step Socks.

On the needles today...

Of course I've decided we are going to celebrate St. Nicholas Day a mere three days beforehand, and of course Michael will need his very own felted, curly-toed clog to hold his little treats in. Unfortunately, there really is no way I'll be able to get an actual pattern written in time for it to be of any use to anyone - it's based off of another pattern that I wrote a few years back and there is more that I want to do with it, so next year for sure. I'm hoping to get some stuff posted up on Knitty Keen in the next week - free patterns that I've been sitting on for a while and my BSJ striping template (which I'll cross-post over at Zimmermaniacs as well). The brain, as always, is afire with ideas but the body demands rest and the family demands attention so things will continue to progress slowly but surely. Since John is off on Thursday and I'm finally going to get my hair cut, I'm thinking of settling down with the laptop somewhere that morning and doing all of the pattern writing I've been promising for ages.

Ah well, a clog must be knit!

P.S. - I only have 1/3 a pattern repeat and 10 rounds of single rib to do and I'm DONE the green scaly socks - YAY!

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The knitting is done on the clog - all that's left is the felting!