Just very, very angry right now

I am so mad at TPTB right now. I shared some thoughts that I thought were mostly going to be viewed by a select group of people and TPTB have decided that it needed to be moved to a more general place because we aren't allowed to talk about it in the small place. So now I have someone picking apart my far from formed thoughts. I read, I ask questions, I've done my research. I am scared and still working through a lot of stuff. Let me process, damn it.

I know I am probably overreacting, but it felt like a physical blow when I found out and that's probably when my day started going down the toilet. I could just spit right now. I can't talk about that "here" and if I talk about it "there" without the requisite list of caveats I face it being picked apart and provided with well meaning information that I obviously can't know because then I would be acting or feeling this way.

It's the same reason why I barely mention my failed breastfeeding relationship - I obviously didn't try hard enough, didn't educate myself enough, didn't want it badly enough, and should never have considered having a child in the first place because I wasn't willing to do the work.

You aren't in my head. You don't live my life. You don't know what I do every day. Don't make assumptions.

Pregnancy hormone induced rant over.