Friday, August 24, 2007


My mother-in-law called me this afternoon to tell me that the hospice nurse thinks my father-in-law does not have long. All of those things I thought I came to terms with last weekend are all jumbled up again. Right now I'm turning to survival mode. I have to get John's suit to the cleaner and press his tie. Laundry has to be done. I have a couple of leads for child care for Michael because that is one thing I am not putting all of us through. If John's extended family wants to see him that much they can come on down to South Philly to do it, I am not doing this to myself. The vitriol might be jumping the gun a bit but I already know that I am going to be a mess, especially since I seem to be the go-to person for his family and under the circumstances it's going to be next to impossible for me to say "No".

I tried on a maternity dress that S lent me and it hangs on me all wrong so I ordered a nice top that I can wear with a black knit skirt. I have a dress that I know was too big on me last summer which I may be able to wear in a pinch. The only black shoes I have are my Keen sandals and an old pair of cheap Payless flats, both of which draw they eyes to my oh so lovely cankles. I think I can get away with the Keens if I wear tights - I haven't worn dress shoes in almost three years and have no desire to do so again in the near future.

We are still going up on Sunday - death, estrangement, high heat and humidity - gotta love the combination.