Hair shirt

I just finished watching an episode of Birth Day on Tv and I'm feeling a wonderful coctail of anger and fear. Of course both of the births featured in the episode were highly medicalized and one of the women ended up having a c-section.

I started out my pregnancy with Michael with the mindset of having a medication-free birth. I read a great deal and had enough faith in myself that I could do it. Towards the end of my pregnancy, my blood pressure kept creeping up. My bloodwork and urine came back clear, no signs of pre-eclampsia. The times when my pressure was notably elevated were times I was in a close, warm exam room - in fact one particular time I had just come back from a nonstress test/biophysical profile. the whole time I was there my pressure was stellar, but in the exam room at my OB's office it was through the roof, so I was put on partial bedrest. Then Michael's estimated size came into play. They predicted his size to be 9+ pounds at 37 weeks. I started getting the shoulder distocia warnings and a section was scheduled for the day before my due-date. It was originally supposed to be some time the following week to give my body a chance to go into labor, but my OB's schedule (read: vacation) wouldn't allow it.

I'll continue this later as I'm a bit too angry right now to write coherently.