It just gets better and better....

The day didn't start out as the day from hell, but they rarely do.

I haven't had a half bottle glass of merlot yet, so instead of the sing-songy trail of events, you get the bulleted list and my atrocious lack of grammar and syntax (not to mention spelling).

• Took a flying leap off the wagon, we'll try again tomorrow.


• Stayed out to long at K's house, Michael almost falls asleep on the way home. Michael becomes very hyper the second I put him in the crib to take a nap. We stay in his room listening to Sarah Vowell while he bounces in his crib for an hour because it's nap time and we may as well go through the motions even though we both know no one is sleeping.


• Go up to the bathroom. Hear a choking noise and run to top of stairs. See Michael trying to drink from my water cup and figure water can only help the carpet. Go back to bathroom. Hear TV making funny noises. Come downstairs to find that Michael felt the TV was in need of water. TV is broken (we think). Stressed out mom, no nap toddler, no TV - you do the math.


• Talk to K, am offered their old TV. Thank you K!!!! Yay K!!!!


• Bring up ancient TV from basement. I've had a day and dammit I deserve to watch the evening news. Can't get news tuned in without tons of static. Settle for tuning the station on the radio and turning sound down on old TV. Yes, watching the news meant that much.


• Michael decides that he does not like the "new" TV - keeps pushing it back on the table and pulling the big TV forward with many demands to watch Oobi and Bob


• Finally, 7:30 - we can go to bed. I give him his melatonin.


• Head up stairs, sit down at computer for a moment. Michael joins me a minute later with a gift - a handful of melatonin tablets! Run back downstairs to see melatonin bottle emptied onto table. Call John and tell him to come home now! Mind fills with visions of syrup of ipecac and activated charcoal. Call Poison control, almost become hysterical. We deduce that he didn't have enough time to eat enough pills to cause him any real harm. Call John to tell him that we will not be spending the evening at CHOP. Loose it on the phone with John. Michael looses it because I am loosing it. John points out that this is a good sign that he's developing empathy.


• Michael falls asleep in less than 5 minutes - check to make sure he's still breathing at least three times before leaving the room.


• Commit war crimes against the English language for all the world to read


• Suffering from delusions of grandeur that all the world will read my blog.

The husband has just arrived with coffee. Good night all.


******

The Tv does in fact work - of course when we first tested it, it looked like every one was a member of the Blue Man Group, but the old stand by of turning it off and on again cleared that up. John and I admitted to each other that we've each checked on Michael at least twice since he fell asleep. John also asked me if I knew where our parenting license was, since surely someone would be asking to inspect it.