The Chroniclized Tragic Wars: Part the First

First off, I’m not even sure “chroniclized” is actually a word, but then again I don’t think “discombobulation” is one either, so we’re off to a great start.

When I was in seventh grade, I was obsessed with drawing daggers laying on tables in front of cobweb draped candle sticks. The daggers were always dripping blood - not what you’d expect to find in a Catholic school girl’s notebook margins, but I never claimed to be normal in any sense of the word. At some point or another, I started putting arms and legs on the droplets of blood and made them jump off of diving boards into blood pools, thus the Droplets were born.

In my junior year of high school, I gave the Droplets their own comic - The Tragic War Between the Droplets and the Killer Tomatoes. You are introduced to the Droplets, a fun and carefree people despite their rather macabre origins. Then you see the Killer Tomatoes who are envious of the droplets’ fun and frolicking. Fueled by this envy and a profound hatred of their theme song, the Killer Tomatoes attack the Droplets. I was never really clear on what the battle consisted of, but most of it took place between panels (a sketchy story’s best friend). Droplet scientists worked feverishly to find a way to fend off the tomato menace and eventually settled on a giant laser, thus reducing the Killer Tomatoes to Killer Tomato sauce for spaghetti night.

The weirdness didn’t stop there, but this post is getting long, so I’ll save the rest for later.