Wednesday, November 09, 2005

Mixed Blessings

I just got home from a board meeting for the mother's group I'm in. Since I have so much on my plate right now, several parts of the meeting centered on what duties I could give up. I'm enough of a control freak that it was a bit hard to give up some things, but it really is a relief to know that I won't have to spend the last week of every month going crazy with all of the work I have to do and find time to take care of myself and my family.

The hardest thing they asked me to give up was the newsletter. I came up with the original design almost two months ago after about three hours of intense work in Publisher. I should have been doing housework at the time, but it felt so good to be using my design skills which have lain dormant for more than two years. Over the past few months I've probably invested at least 20 hours in making this. I am very proud of the result and have heard nothing but praise about my work.

While discussing next month's issue, the point was brought up about letting someone else take over for the next three months. Yes, I will admit that that the anal part of me thinks that someone else won't do as good a job on it and I can let that go. The artist in me is screaming, "No!" This is my creation, something I have invested a lot of myself into. I got to use computer programs for more than just making greeting cards. I got to do something I've wanted to do for ages, serious design work. I had a creative outlet for something that wasn't directly baby related. I did say that I really didn't want to let it go, but I don't think they understand what this means to me. It feels like I'm being slapped in the face, "You did such a great job, so now we're going to give it someone else to do."

They do have the best of intentions and are probably right on a level. I just have to let it go.